remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
