you would pick up someone in the library
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize