your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I am mentally ready for anal.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
