it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Michael Bay diarrhea
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
