It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
4 words: hood of his car
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
