Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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