it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
