last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
