She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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