you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize