He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
