How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
