You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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