Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
