I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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