The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
