Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
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