I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
