He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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