In the future we'll all be gay
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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