White coat. Heels.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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