Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
