Define "chronic" masturbator.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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