I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
i think my cat just said my name.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
