ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize