Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Boobs speak an international language.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
