I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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