Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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