I am in a vortex of obligation.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
