I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
