He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I need water and some morals
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
