i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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