I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
