Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
