Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
