Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Randomize
