sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
