just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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