Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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