This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
