we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
