I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
