The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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