i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
