Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
