THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize