Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
