The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
