just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Dicks are not precious.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
