I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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