Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
