i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize