Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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