ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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