you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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