I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
