bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
