...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize