I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Even my vagina gasped.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
