I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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