I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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