i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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