belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
