I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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