I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's never too late to be topless.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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