just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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