I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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