Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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